stay for a while (nov07)

I dream in black and white these days and when I arise to a new hour; the color of the bright mornings, the fresh smell of milk and the clean-mint taste of toothpaste seemed to all have disappeared. I cannot forget of a love I once had and sometimes I reminisce and longed to have said before he left, “stay with me while my smile has not faded”.

***
I held his hand that day like the intertwining of our fingers and warmth would last for eternity. I was surrounded by a magnificent clear blue sky, a magnificent crowd of people, a magnificent world. We treaded along the sidewalks of our own reflection and it was as though nothing could take that moment away.

I was so consumed in our walk that I hardly noticed a woman had been trailing our movement, and as we took for halt in front of a deserted park, she felt the instant was perfect. A knife was abruptly held deeply against the neck of the man I was momentarily holding hands with. I froze with a fear the filled my entire being. She demanded money, demanded that I hurry, demanded I beg for our lives and then her knife dug so deep that she demanded to take his breath away. His blood dripped from the knife and in unison, his knees gave way to the cold gravel ground. I flung myself to his motionless body, denying that the man lying beside me was gone. I shook him vigorously, demanding selfishly for him to not leave. My hand was shaking as I reached out to his. The hand I held was familiar…yet cold and immobile.

I glanced over to the woman who was now desperately digging through my leather purse. I stood up slowly and walked over. A hatred I had never experienced overwhelmed me, and my hand suddenly reached out and curled around her neck. Impulses had taken hold of my movements. Her face started to turn a shade of blue, or was it green, my vision was blurred from the tears. The beat pulsing against my fingers had suddenly stopped and in that moment my heart had also.

***
I try to play the melody that our hands once played but the piece feels empty and will probably be soon forgotten.