textile ocean (apr08)

I repeated the lines of a novel I knew so well in my mind;

Creatures of the textile ocean.
Swimmers in a sea of colored fabric…

The words painted images and consumed me with thoughts related and unrelated. As I started to pick at the fluff that stuck out of the warm gentle blanket that covered my fears, I sat perplexed. The fabric molded itself against my body, I dared not move. A soft murmur against my ear speaking of quick-fix products that would change my life, started to increase in volume as I realized my head was resting against the radio. I shifted my head, lifted my arm to switch the deceitful voices off and removed the object to the ground. Residing on the wall opposite hung a black rectangular clock that urged me to rest, printing 5:25AM. Late as it is, I felt no urgency to relinquish the battle for an answer. Was her leave a sign of abandonment? Was she running, hiding away, hoping for a quick-fix to all that was happening? It seemed she gave up and I held on.

~

“I’m leaving for a while” mum says, pulling up at the traffic lights, “…for some work related things”. I could hear the stammer in her voice and tone notorious for hinting she meant otherwise.
“You’re just going to leave?” I ask in disbelief, “Is it really for your job?”
After a long pause she answered both questions in unison, “Yes”.

~

I wiped a seemingly melodramatic tear from my eye and made the decision to reside in blank idealism. Afterwards I lay still, letting myself sink into the warm fabric that engulfs me as my eyes start to flicker to signal my fatigue. Receiving only flashes of light from the surrounding environment, I realize my vision is blurred, perception weak. As my emotions suppress, I safely closed my eyes and drift into a deep sleep.

Only confusion, no conclusions.